So, I have been missing in action for about a month now. I have noticed that I have let life take control of me and have left no time for myself or reflection. The goal of my blog is to remind me to slow down and focus on the important things and also a place for me to kind of sort through my thoughts. With the sun shining and outdoor activities calling my name, I have had little time left at the end of the night to do something that requires thought.
With all the hussle and bussle of daily life with a one and a half year old, I have been worn out to say the least. Some days end with a final thought of, "what a great day!" And other days ended with the thought of, "I can't take another day like today..." There is always something that needs to be done. The dishes, the laundry, sorting of toys, cleaning up the clutter around the house, pulling weeds, planting flowers, watering said flowers, dusting, spring cleaning, cooking, exercising, etc. etc. Now I only work three days a week at a less than hard job... delivering pizzas. I am blessed to be able to stay home with my child and take care of him and only have to work 15 hours a week for a little extra cash for the family. This may seem like an insignificant amount of hours and yes I realize it's really basically nothing. However, some days it's enough to send me over the edge. Just knowing that I have to wake up early and keep going until way past the time the sun has gone down, just leaves me feeling overwhelmed.
Playing outside in the sun all day and chasing my child, follwed by a night of work has kept me from blogging. It disappoints me that I haven't kept up on my promise to blog at least once a week, which is very attainable. I need this time to reflect and pause from everything that's calling my name. I need a place where I can be honest about how exhausted I feel. A place where I can express my frustrations and reflect. A place where I can share my joys, even if for no other reason than to remind myself. The joy of watching my son play with the hose for hours and being 100% content. The frustration of watching the dishes pile up in the sink and knowing I am the only one who will do them, even after I spent the entire day doing laundry, folding it, and putting it away. The frustration of there being no one to help me out during the day, no matter how tired I am or how much I could use a small break. The joy of hearing my son try to say at least 5 new words a day, even if I am the only one who knows what he's saying :) Each day is filled with ups and downs and I am slowly but surely getting better at focusing on the ups. However, sometimes I still find myself focusing on the lows after a couple of bad days, even though I know it only makes it worse. My blog is my place to reflect and remind myself to look at the good and to focus on the good because it's all that really matters in the end. Knowing that I wear myself out so that Walter can have a fun day filled with great memories will most definitely be worth it in the end!
Over. And. Out.