Each day is filled with moments worth remembering, moments worth sharing. As a promise to myself, I wanted to start trying to reflect on my day every night and remember something that made me smile. The funny thing about that has been that it has made me pay more attention to the small things as they are happening throughout the day. I find myself smiling at my son constantly. He is a chatter box these days so you really never know what he is going to say next. Tonight we drove around as a family to look at Christmas lights and we happened to find a house that was just completely decked out; I mean the whole nine yards!!! They had blinking lights, flashing lights, twinkling lights... Everything. My son was so impressed and his little two year old mind was blown. He told me, "the lights are popping!" And it made me smile! It made me smile because he just saw fireworks at our town's Christmas parade and he learned that fireworks go pop pop and in his mind that was the closest thing he had seen to these Christmas lights, so naturally they must be popping too.
I smiled today while I was out doing a little Christmas shopping because I looked around and saw men sitting on benches everywhere or leaning against a rack while their women shopped until they dropped. I smiled because I saw a mom flustered because her kids weren't behaving well and she was concerned what everyone was thinking. I didn't smile because I was happy her kids weren't behaving, I smiled because I've been her. I smiled because I saw mothers trying to pick out just the right book for their child and it makes me happy to know that there are still parents who encourage their children to read. I smiled when I saw a woman trying to capture a beautiful candid shot of her children hanging out with what appeared to be their grandpa. I smiled because I happened to run into my step sister in a quite comical way. I just smiled.
I smile because I realize there is just so much worth smiling about. I smile because I am thankful. I smile because there really is no other way to live. Life is happening all around us and it happens so quickly. If you don't take the time to pause and enjoy things every once in a while, you'll realize when you look back you have no memories or stories to share because you were too busy moving on to what was next to enjoy the now. I invite you to remember to smile and remember at least one thing every day that made you smile. I think it's a wonderful way to end the day!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Tis the season!
I can't sleep, so I figured I might as well do something constructive. The holiday season is upon us and I couldn't be more happy about it. Last year I told myself that Walter was going to be so much fun come Christmas morning, well... he wasn't. BUT... this is going to be his year, I know it! He's finally going to be just the perfect age to be excited to unwrap presents, he will squeal in excitement with each special gift, he loves being a helper, he loves the lights, he loves the music, he is his mother's child! He turned 2 this past Thursday and that just seems completely unreal to me. I cannot believe I have a 2 year old!
This time of year is special to me for many reasons. There is just something about the sights, the atmosphere, and sounds of the holiday season that make me warm inside. I have so many special memories of getting my home ready for Christmas with my mother. We would spend the day putting the tree up, deciding where to place each decoration, and all the while listening to Bing Crosby's Christmas CD. Long after all my siblings out grew helping with the Christmas decorations, I could still be found helping my mom... It became OUR tradition. It became something very special to me that words can't describe. I know I will have those memories forever and I cherish them so very much. I hope I can make the same kind of memories for my son. He helped me with all the decorating this year. Although the word helping is being used very loosely. It's so important to make traditions and take the time to enjoy the small things with your child. I bet my parents didn't think half of the things that became a cherished memory for me would even make an impact on my life. I love that they did though. I love that I have special memories that are all mine or that no one else but my siblings understand. By having those cherished memories, it has enabled me to know how important it is to create them with Walter. All I can hope is that it happens as naturally in my family as in did for me as a child. I hope that in 25 or so years Walter will be sharing his Christmas memories and stories with a family of his own! Merry Christmas all!
-ejw
-ejw
I.M.H.O.
There have been so many opinions flying around since the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary took place. Where should the focus be? I think the focus needs to be on all of it. Gun control needs reformed. Yes, the statement guns don't kill people, people kill people is very true. But still gun laws need reformed. Access to guns is too easy. The idea that it's our constitutional right to bear whatever guns we like is just ridiculous. No one needs to own multiple hand guns or a .223 rifle. If you want your guns to hunt that is fine, I'm not talking about you... So shut up already about us taking your guns away.
Mental illness needs to be more accepted in society as something that needs to be treated not just something tucked neatly away in a closet that we don't want to really deal with. Take a minute to read the blog I am Ryan Lanza's Mother and the follow up blog I am Ryan Lanza's Psychiatrist. Healthcare needs reformed in the sense that it doesn't really allow people to get help. They want to simply medicate someone or get them out of treatment as quickly as possible so they can save a few dollars. Everything is about how cheap and quick we can do things now. It's never about quality of care or individual needs. Healthcare is big business now... Actually in my opinion is one of the biggest shams out there.
Finally, our world doesn't know God. Not sure where this fits in with it all, but it's something they're talking about in the aftermath. And by saying I'm not sure where it fits in, I simply mean if you think this was God's doing or he was controlling this somehow, you've clearly never cracked open the Bible. People want to know where God was during all of this like he is some puppet master who is controlling our every move from his throne in the sky. People really do need to get a handle on who God really is. So yeah, I think it would do our society some good to bring God back into it. You can't take him out of everywhere and run our societies and lives like we have never heard his message and then expect to bring him back into it all when everything has gone to shit. I listened to someone talking about this and he said "we have excused him out of our lives but then we act surprised when a society without him actually reflects what it has become." Or something like that. Pretty powerful, right?
So really, it was just tragic... There is nothing more that can be said about it. But... There are clearly some lessons to be learned and some changes that need to be made and that's what the media should be focusing on. Unfortunately, this will never be the case. They will do whatever it takes to get viewers and plaster that kid's face all over the place. They will continue to put that picture of that poor emotionally distraught girl on her cell phone everywhere. They will exploit these children and in a week we won't be talking about it anymore, well that is, until it happens again.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html
http://www.xojane.com/issues/a-response-to-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-from-a-doctor-in-the-trenches-i-am-adam-lanzas-psychiatrist
Over and Out -ejw
Mental illness needs to be more accepted in society as something that needs to be treated not just something tucked neatly away in a closet that we don't want to really deal with. Take a minute to read the blog I am Ryan Lanza's Mother and the follow up blog I am Ryan Lanza's Psychiatrist. Healthcare needs reformed in the sense that it doesn't really allow people to get help. They want to simply medicate someone or get them out of treatment as quickly as possible so they can save a few dollars. Everything is about how cheap and quick we can do things now. It's never about quality of care or individual needs. Healthcare is big business now... Actually in my opinion is one of the biggest shams out there.
Finally, our world doesn't know God. Not sure where this fits in with it all, but it's something they're talking about in the aftermath. And by saying I'm not sure where it fits in, I simply mean if you think this was God's doing or he was controlling this somehow, you've clearly never cracked open the Bible. People want to know where God was during all of this like he is some puppet master who is controlling our every move from his throne in the sky. People really do need to get a handle on who God really is. So yeah, I think it would do our society some good to bring God back into it. You can't take him out of everywhere and run our societies and lives like we have never heard his message and then expect to bring him back into it all when everything has gone to shit. I listened to someone talking about this and he said "we have excused him out of our lives but then we act surprised when a society without him actually reflects what it has become." Or something like that. Pretty powerful, right?
So really, it was just tragic... There is nothing more that can be said about it. But... There are clearly some lessons to be learned and some changes that need to be made and that's what the media should be focusing on. Unfortunately, this will never be the case. They will do whatever it takes to get viewers and plaster that kid's face all over the place. They will continue to put that picture of that poor emotionally distraught girl on her cell phone everywhere. They will exploit these children and in a week we won't be talking about it anymore, well that is, until it happens again.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html
http://www.xojane.com/issues/a-response-to-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-from-a-doctor-in-the-trenches-i-am-adam-lanzas-psychiatrist
Over and Out -ejw
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Figuring it all out.
Walter is quickly coming up on his second birthday. People always say they grow up quick, but you don't really believe it until you're living it. The day to day doesn't necessarily go fast, but when you stop and take a moment to reflect you realize how quickly time has gone by unnoticed. Sometimes a week seems to take forever to pass by, but then when I go to recall something that happened, " just the other day," it's really been 4 months! I'm definitely getting older... So with age and a not so little baby anymore, you start to wonder if it could be time for number 2.
I'm one of those freak of nature worry warts that worries about pretty much anything. I look at my beautiful baby boy and think to myself, of course, that he's perfect. Why would I want to press my luck? What if the second baby isn't as cute? What if I don't love them the same? What if Walter gets upset? Worst of all, what if the second baby turns out to be as horrible of a sleeper as little man? Haha! This mama really loves her sleep, so that's a real concern for me. I couldn't handle two babies not sleeping well. Then you have to wonder if you think you can really start all over from scratch again. Can I go back to those midnight feedings? Could I really balance TWO children?
So people tell me, just wait until Walter is a little bit older. To be honest, no thank you! I don't want children much further in age than they already would be AND I don't want Walter to get all the way out of the baby phase because if he does and I don't have another one... I'm likely to say adios and never look back. With all that being said, my sister is my absolute best friend in the world and I want Walter to have a sibling so he can have that same kind of relationship. However, I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers and while I love them all very,very much, I only have that special relationship with my one sister. So, I am well aware that you can't guarantee your children will become close and remain that way forever. However, it's just such a special connection that I think, can I really take the chance of him missing out on that?
There is just so much to consider when thinking of the possibility of adding to your family. What things worry you guys or worried you when you were where I am at?
-ejw
I'm one of those freak of nature worry warts that worries about pretty much anything. I look at my beautiful baby boy and think to myself, of course, that he's perfect. Why would I want to press my luck? What if the second baby isn't as cute? What if I don't love them the same? What if Walter gets upset? Worst of all, what if the second baby turns out to be as horrible of a sleeper as little man? Haha! This mama really loves her sleep, so that's a real concern for me. I couldn't handle two babies not sleeping well. Then you have to wonder if you think you can really start all over from scratch again. Can I go back to those midnight feedings? Could I really balance TWO children?
So people tell me, just wait until Walter is a little bit older. To be honest, no thank you! I don't want children much further in age than they already would be AND I don't want Walter to get all the way out of the baby phase because if he does and I don't have another one... I'm likely to say adios and never look back. With all that being said, my sister is my absolute best friend in the world and I want Walter to have a sibling so he can have that same kind of relationship. However, I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers and while I love them all very,very much, I only have that special relationship with my one sister. So, I am well aware that you can't guarantee your children will become close and remain that way forever. However, it's just such a special connection that I think, can I really take the chance of him missing out on that?
There is just so much to consider when thinking of the possibility of adding to your family. What things worry you guys or worried you when you were where I am at?
-ejw
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
It's pumpkin season!
The good news is, that the sun came back out awhile ago and I've just been really busy enjoying my day to day that I haven't been on here much to update. ( Let alone keep up with all my favorite bloggers... please forgive me) Fall seems to be in full swing in my neck of the woods and it is my favorite season, so I've been taking it all in. I love pumpkin flavored things so I must take advantage of them while they're here. So you can see why I haven't been able to blog... I've been to busy sipping on my pumpkin coffee, while smelling my pumpkin candles & hand soaps, and enjoying my pumpkin decorations! Haha.
Walter seems to have grown up over night. He is talking up a storm and learning words left and right! He has taken to telling me, " no way momma!" when he really doesn't want to do something and even though it's a little sassy, I still let him say it. :) He has even started eating veggies every once in awhile... thank goodness!!! I told him carrots will make him hop like a bunny, so that is going over really well.
On the home front, I have finally hung up two of the prints that I bought six months ago... So that should keep the Betty homemaker in me happy for awhile. (It's the small things people...) I have a ladder I'm going to use a bookshelf on the wall and an old pallet to turn into shelving, so I making a move in the right direction.
On a much, much sadder note... my camera broke due to no fault of mine. It's about 7 or 8 years old and I went to turn it on the other day and the screen just read lens, error please restart camera. The only problem with that is... IT WON'T RESTART! Apparently, this is a common problem in Canons... go figure. So, for now I am back to my simple point and shoot until I can afford a new DSLR. I am trying not to get to down about it, but it is frustrating. It's the first hobby that I have
taken to in adulthood and I'm missing it like crazy!
Anyway, thank you to everyone who left me a wonderful comment on my last post. I appreciate all the support and knowing that I am not the only stay at home mom who has felt this way. It is so wonderful to have a space like this to share my frustrations and get support from people that I've never met, except through their words and their own trials and tribulations. It truly is a special thing and I thank you all for reading... really, it means the world to me!
-ejw
Walter seems to have grown up over night. He is talking up a storm and learning words left and right! He has taken to telling me, " no way momma!" when he really doesn't want to do something and even though it's a little sassy, I still let him say it. :) He has even started eating veggies every once in awhile... thank goodness!!! I told him carrots will make him hop like a bunny, so that is going over really well.
On the home front, I have finally hung up two of the prints that I bought six months ago... So that should keep the Betty homemaker in me happy for awhile. (It's the small things people...) I have a ladder I'm going to use a bookshelf on the wall and an old pallet to turn into shelving, so I making a move in the right direction.
On a much, much sadder note... my camera broke due to no fault of mine. It's about 7 or 8 years old and I went to turn it on the other day and the screen just read lens, error please restart camera. The only problem with that is... IT WON'T RESTART! Apparently, this is a common problem in Canons... go figure. So, for now I am back to my simple point and shoot until I can afford a new DSLR. I am trying not to get to down about it, but it is frustrating. It's the first hobby that I have
taken to in adulthood and I'm missing it like crazy!
Anyway, thank you to everyone who left me a wonderful comment on my last post. I appreciate all the support and knowing that I am not the only stay at home mom who has felt this way. It is so wonderful to have a space like this to share my frustrations and get support from people that I've never met, except through their words and their own trials and tribulations. It truly is a special thing and I thank you all for reading... really, it means the world to me!
-ejw
Sunday, August 19, 2012
The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow...
Truthfully, I haven't been using this space lately because I just don't know what I want to say. I'm feeling very discontented (is that even grammatically correct?) lately. It seems like everything I try to do ends up being a "C" kind of job and I am an A+ kind of girl. It's rather frustrating when you're a perfectionist and nothing seems even remotely close to perfect. My days have just been slipping by me and I feel like I get nothing done. The dishes keep piling up, despite my best attempts to keep things clean. The laundry... well, I should hire someone to do that because I certainly haven't been doing so hot. I am constantly thinking of things I want to do in my home to "decorate" and give my space some character, but the walls remain blank. I'm trying to figure out my stinkin' camera and that seems to no avail. I just don't feel like I am where I want to be in life. I feel like I should be doing more and then I would be happy.
However, I don't know what more I could really be doing. I stay home with my son because that's what I want to do. We made that decision as a family and I couldn't be more happy with it. I love that I stay home with him and have the privilege of spending so much quality time with my son. I love that I don't miss out on things because I'm stuck at work. However, I'm not a housewife... I am a stay at home mother. I feel that those two things are very different. Once Walter goes to school, I want to be back in the workforce. However, sometimes it feels like I am so disconnected from the world because I stay at home. I feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile in my life to further myself professionally. I know it's a catch-22 and that I can't have my cake and eat it too. I wouldn't trade being home with Walter for anything, but at the same time I wish I had more to tell people when they ask what I've been doing with my life. I wish I had a list of accomplishments and a chunk of change in my 401k and a business card to say, "Hey, I'm a professional too!" I know it doesn't work that way though. I feel very proud of what I am doing at home and how smart and wonderful my son is. It's just that the world doesn't see that as an accomplishment and so I feel like I'm stuck in one place because my accomplishments can't be measured in job titles and salary. Which, truthfully, really doesn't even matter to me, but it matters to everyone else. It's easy to say that you shouldn't let others get you down, but it's often much easier said than done.
I like finishing projects too and I haven't finished a project in a really long time. My sister and I started painting my kitchen well over a year ago, but the trim isn't finished. It's really starting to work my nerves too. My sister and I have been tossing around ideas for what seems like an eternity about what color to put on my living room walls... still white. UGH! No pictures hanging on the walls, no shelves, no decoration. My mantle looks like Martha Stewart puked all over it. No organization... no theme. It's not that I am even bad at decorating, I am just too dang indecisive. ANNNNND I feel like with a toddler running around that it's about impossible to get the time to do any decorating. Plus, even if I got some decorating done, it would quickly be over taken by Lightening McQueen and Thomas the Train. House? Check. Oh wait, house... definitely not checked off my to-do list.
Photography? BIG GIANT frustration! I know it's going to take some time, but I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Before I started trying to take pictures, I always had so many great ideas for photos and would get inspiration from everything. Now, it's all gone. I feel like I lost my creativity the minute I tried using it. I suppose that's how it works sometimes though. It can only get better.
Over and Out.
EJW
Friday, August 3, 2012
Vacation.
Vacation, all I ever wanted! Vacation, had (have) to get away.
Finally after many months of planning and anticipation our family vacation is right around the corner. It's so close I can already smell the ocean winds and taste the sea salt. I honestly haven't been this excited in a long time. It's not like my life is really so stressful that I actually mentally and physically need a vacation for my health. Although, if you ask me on the right day Imight will be singing a different tune. We are spending an entire week in Myrtle Beach where we rented a house. I should say where my in laws rented a home. The idea was originally to go for my father-in-law's 50th birthday, which was back in April. However we realized that the weather we wanted wouldn't coincide with April. We wanted to be able to cavort on the beach, swim, and catch some serious rays. So we settled on waiting until August and after many months of waiting, it actually feels real.
I've decided that I am going to use this week to relax and not let a clock dictate my life, which I do more often than not. On a daily basis I find myself looking at the clock constantly and using it to gauge where I should be in my day. There are always more things to do than there are hours in a day, but for one week I am not going to let that be the case. In the past I have found myself saying I need a weeks vacation for the week of vacation I just had. I personally tend to try and fit more than is reasonable into vacation time. You want to make sure you do everything on your list of activities and see all the places you want to see and go to all the shops you want to check out etc, etc. Well, I have realized that this does not make for a very relaxing vacation because you are just racing against the clock to fit it all in. Fitting in all in has become a way of life for so many of use and it's sad because that's the exact lifestyle that leads to not savoring the small things in life that really matter. So, as a promise to myself, I am going to make sure I enjoy this very long awaited vacation and soak up all the little moments. I CANNOT wait.
-ejw
Finally after many months of planning and anticipation our family vacation is right around the corner. It's so close I can already smell the ocean winds and taste the sea salt. I honestly haven't been this excited in a long time. It's not like my life is really so stressful that I actually mentally and physically need a vacation for my health. Although, if you ask me on the right day I
I've decided that I am going to use this week to relax and not let a clock dictate my life, which I do more often than not. On a daily basis I find myself looking at the clock constantly and using it to gauge where I should be in my day. There are always more things to do than there are hours in a day, but for one week I am not going to let that be the case. In the past I have found myself saying I need a weeks vacation for the week of vacation I just had. I personally tend to try and fit more than is reasonable into vacation time. You want to make sure you do everything on your list of activities and see all the places you want to see and go to all the shops you want to check out etc, etc. Well, I have realized that this does not make for a very relaxing vacation because you are just racing against the clock to fit it all in. Fitting in all in has become a way of life for so many of use and it's sad because that's the exact lifestyle that leads to not savoring the small things in life that really matter. So, as a promise to myself, I am going to make sure I enjoy this very long awaited vacation and soak up all the little moments. I CANNOT wait.
-ejw
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